Helping a Friend
It’s not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you they’ve been sexually assaulted, especially when that person is a family member, friend, or loved one. RAINN has a few different ways of showing support to someone who has chosen to confide in you:
• Listen. Be there. Communicate without judgement.
• Be patient.
• Encourage the person to report incidents of violence (including coercion) to law enforcement
and campus authorities.
Additional Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Support Others
No More: Supporting Survivors
OneLove: Help a friend who may be in an abusive relationship
OneLove: Help a friend who may be abusing their partner
Members of the LGBTQ community, or someone who does not identify as LGBTQ but experiences a same-sex assault, can face some
unique obstacles when seeking assistance after a sexual assault, including:
- Having to "out" themselves or their assailant.
- Being asked to explain the assault in detail.
- Fear of having the assault downplayed or viewed as not a "real" assault.
- Fear of being blamed for the assault or perceived as "deserving" it.
- Fear about being mistakenly perceived as the assailant.
- Worries about perpetuating negative stereotypes of the LGBTQ community.
- Fear of creating a rift in a local LGBTQ community if people "take sides.”
- Concerns about homophobia from legal and medical personnel.
- Fear of questions about one's sexual identity.
The issues listed about are very real concerns that member of the LGBTQ community might face. The reaction of the first person a survivor discloses to can affect if they choose to tell others or seek additional resources. RAINN has a few different ways of showing support to a member of the LGBTQ community who has chosen to confide in you:
- Listen
- Validate their feelings.
- Express concern.
- Use inclusive language that affirms the survivor’s gender identity and sexual orientation.
- Do not ask about details of the assault.
- There are many resources on the CSUMB campus and in the local community to help with recovery.
Additional Resources:
National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs
The Trevor Project
LGBT National Hotline
FORGE
GLSEN